life never goes as we expect does it?
by yourheartlivesinmyvagina
Summary: AS we take of this fanfic we are yeah, right after the finale ended, we do not know what is gonna happened. and its to be seen or read . ABANDONED
1. Chapter 1 the beginning of the ending

**And yeah, i dont know. its my frist FF, and i write as it comes to me, so i dont know how the followup are gonna fit in but i felt like start with just mostly MerDer felt right.  
Life never goes as we expected does it?**  
**We take of exactly where the finale ended.**

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Cristina looked at Meredith when she came out from the locker room.  
"Are you okay; you seem to be a little down?" She asked Mer with concern in her voice, a voice she rarely used.  
Mer nodded quick, "yeah, I'm fine... but can you go tell Der I'm coming in 10 mins, just got to run and eh… fix a thing first!" she said quietly as she walked to the elevators and pushed the up button  
Cris looked after her and took three quick steps after and laid her arms around Mers neck, and giggles "this is a hug", and as she looked into mers face she said "we don't hug, so tell me what happened" her voice came out more serious than last time.  
Mer looked at her, and took a deep breath.  
" I was really excited, I really wanted this. Now, I can't have it. "She sighed  
Cris looked Mer in the eyes, "you can, just tell Derek about it, and you can have all the mcbabies you want, I lost my first and I only have one ovary. You have two, and it was caused of Avery's way for saving your guy, and I bet you'd rather have mcdreamy than mcbaby?"  
Mer sank her eyes, starring down in the floor and whispered "You are my person, and I am a fraud"  
April came running down the stairs at the exact moment Mer shout her mouth and pulled Mers arm, "come on, Derek doesn't shut up, and he's on bed rest for the next two months"

Cris followed them both one step behind, "hey, Kepner leave... this is a person moment and.. you are partly a reason for her deep down depression, if she goes back to tequila you'd be the one to blame" she rambled loudly when they passed the corner to the ICU. Mer turned her head back to Cris and gave her the look, but she then looked at April who took off as a scared little deer.  
Cris dragged Mer to the door and left her outside, while giving Mer a shot of Der in the bed, all pale and weakly looking. She whispered "I'm never going to tell him Cristina" and then she went in to the room and sat on his bedside, kissing him softly in the forehead.

Derek looked at Meredith, "you wanted to talk about something before?" He smiled at her, and she looked away. "no, there wasn't anything.. " she sighed. Derek looked at her back, and lifted his arm and stroke down her hair. "Meredith, talk to me, please… you never say anything.. you keep everything inside you! .." she turned to him and said acid "Derek Christopher Shepherd, I do not have anything to talk about.." Derek got a shocked gaze "Mer, dearest… are you ..?" Meredith looked at him, "No, I most certainly are NOT pregnant, and now I'm leaving you, goodbye Derek, get well!" she said before she went out of the room. She turned just outside the door and she started to cry, she cried for almost an hour before Nurse Olivia came. She sobbed quietly, and didn't realize that there was someone there until Olivia knocked on her back "Meredith? Derek is asking for you, he's been for the past hour..." Meredith looked up, "yeah, I just can't go in there.. i hide to much from him" she whispered. Olivia gave her an understanding look, and nodded "what shall I say? He knows you're here, "Meredith rose from her position, "I'm going in, got to talk right?"Olivia looked at her, and nodded carefully.

Derek turned his eyes to the door when Mer entered again "Not so much Mcdreamy over me?" he looked really sad, Mer took the two steps to the bed and gave him a hug, she kissed him on the lips and smiled. "I love you, okay?"  
Derek moved in the bed, and Mer sat down on his bedside. Derek gave her a suspicious look, as she sat on the edge of the bed. She took a deep breath and lay down beside him, and smiled a nervous smile. "I'm going to ask for a bed later" she whispered and softly put her lips on Dereks shoulder. He smiled at her, and nodded "do that, I can't let you go home alone my love". He yawned and looked at Mer at his side that already closed her eyes, and he slowly fell asleep to.

When Mer woke up, three hours later her first reaction was that she felt the smell of her husband who she knew were in the hospital. She opened her eyes and realized she was in a bed in the hospital to, and she felt a tube under her arm. She looked at Derek who was sleeping and she put her arms around him, kissed his neck and fell back into her dreams.

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**okay, what do you think? rewievs 3  
**

**now, we are gonna jump back in the bginning of the next chapter, only a few hours and i dont think we'll bother, but just so you know!  
comig up when i feel its done! awesome :)  
**


	2. Chapter 2 i was made for

**Okay, here you got chap 2. Its a lot of Callie, but i felt we needed a little not MerDer /Cris. Sorry for the long break but , it was really hard to get anything written on camp and i had no ideas. We still have the same day here, have a great reading!**  


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Callie walked around the hospital thinking, she knew Arizona said she wanted to have kids. But did she really? Callie stopped at the board and watched how every surgery was removed. She knew in the bottom of her heart that they were all going to need to wait long for a new surgery… But then she thought about it, and they still had patients in the hospital, she looked around. In every room there was a patient, and they were all just fine, didn't know so much about Gary's freak out, could she call it that? She kept walking and suddenly bumped into Bailey. "Hey, bailey" she looked confused when she saw Baileys sunken body position. "You okay?" Bailey dried of a tear from her left eye as she turned around and looked at Callie that literally dropped her chin when she saw the tears.  
Bailey shook her shoulders, "yeah sure, why not? You haven't happened to see Reed Adamson, have you?" Bailey pulled away a test of her hair from her face. Callie looked suspiciously at Bailey "You know her body was the one they found first? Gary shot her in her forehead, she died immediately. Why were you looking for her?" Bailey stepped back, "Reed Adamson I I I is… de dead?" she stammered. "B b bbut…" Callie looked at Bailey, "calm down, what is it with you, are you in chock?" Callie took a step to Bailey, and hugged her. Bailey started to sob, and took short quick breaths. "Charles died, in my arms" she sobbed into Callie's chest since she wasn't tall enough to reach her shoulder.  
Callie looked down at Bailey "Charles, like in Charles the doctor from Mercy West?" Bailey nodded and took a step back. Callie shook her head and looked at Bailey "we need to get out of here" she mumbled and they walked through the doors, they passed through the doors and walked out on the bridge were Derek had been shot, they saw Richard sitting on the side behind the police cordons watching the entrance. "Richard, you weren't working today?" Bailey looked at him, as she was expecting answer before she had opened her mouth. "Well, I saw the police cars, and I went here, to get to see Gary Clark shoot down HALF of my hospital, killed like a thousand people or something, and then kill himself, so I had a day of my own" He mumbled, "And Adele doesn't know where I am and I couldn't call her or anything!" Callie looked suspiciously at Richard "But, you should go home. There's nothing we can do here anyway! We are heading out now, you can join us!" She gave him a short smile as he stood up and the three of them walked downstairs and out on the parking lot.

Arizona opened the door to their apartment. She had followed the little girl she'd been with all day and operated her appendix at Seattle Presbyterian. It had gone faster than she thought, but the girl had been perfectly fine. She had of course got to stay a little longer than they all had expected.  
"Callie I'm home" She said when she had put her purse on the kitchen bench. She didn't get any answer and as she picked up her cellphone so she could call Callie a wave of fear went through her body and she shivered. Just as the first signal came in her ear a signal came from outside and when she hung up Callie opened the door, and ran to her and gave her a hug.

They hugged for almost a minute before Callie let go. "I need to take a shower, I've been walking around the hospital the entire afternoon with Bailey and Richard" She smiled. "Bailey was in no shape t drive so I had to drive her to, in this heat. It was disgusting to be in the car" Arizona smiled "I've been in surgery, need to shower to. Want to go in together" She raised her eyebrows in a wink and they undressed in the kitchen and walked into the shower together. They stood towards eachother, kissing while they let the hot water stream down over them. Callie moved closer as she watched Arizonas body, and she lay her hand on her back and moved them to her stomach in a slow movement. Arizona felt the tickle and lay her hands on Callie's ass, and squeezed it a few times while Callie started to giggle.

Callie let her hands move up towards Arizona's breasts and to her shoulders, and then she felt how Arizona moved her hand down to her vagina and the easy touch Arizona had made her shiver. She slapped Arizonas butt, and kissed her and went outside the shower. She took their biggest towel and dried her body quick as Arizona made the same thing before she walked into the bed. She lay down on their bed and pulled her hands through Arizona's hair, who just lay down beside her.

They lay beside eachother for a long time before Callie put her hands around Arizona and crawled closer to her. They felt eachothers body heat, and Callie slowly moved her hand down Arizonas body trough their movements. She touched her vagina and she started to pull her fingers in Arizona, feeling how Arizona came on her hand and she felt her body shiver as she came herself. They lay touching eachother for a long time, until the doorbell rang, in the middle of their act just as Callie came for the second time and Arizona felt how she was almost there. They looked at eachother "Shall we just lay here and ignore it?" Callie whispered. Arizona nodded and Callie went back to where she had taken off, and started to lick down Arizona's body, over her stomach and down to her vagina. She stuck her tongue in to Arizona and felt Arizona's second orgasm in her mouth and she put her tongue in and out several times, in such a slow movement. Arizona lay on her back, felt how her body loved what Callie did and she moaned, time after time and she felt how she came into Callie's mouth both once and twice. As Callie started to move her hands over her thighs she giggled and she moved down Callie's body to do almost exactly what Callie had done to her. Callie moaned loud as she felt Arizonas tongue and she felt her body shiver during the orgasms, and she pant as Arizona was done and they lay beside eachother. Arizona giggled "You are Awesome" and kissed Callie. Callie looked at her "Hey, I got to have my tongue in you and feel you with both fingers tongue and I got you in me, yeah. I don't complain." She smiled. Arizona smiled and raised her hips, and touched Callie one last time, and got a low moan in her ear, and a slight touch that made her come again. They looked out through the window, noticing the dark night outside and Callie gave Arizona one last kiss and touch before she turned around and fell asleep. Arizona turned on her side and put her hands around Callie and giggled, when she moved her hands down to Callies thighs and stopped there and felt Callie spread her thighs and move her lower body forwards to let Arizona in, and Arizona felt her last orgasm from both herself on Callies backside and Callies on her hand, before they both fell asleep.  


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**So, mostly Callzona actually! What do you think?  
Review please, and yeah, im hoping to get up chap. 3 soon.  
**


	3. Chapter 3 stamp on the ground

**Ehm, yeah.. right now. i feel like im in the middle of a nothing comes up, so you got a Cris/owen chapter, or a Cris/teddy, more Cris anyway, nice reading! :)**  


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Owen woke up as his pager went of exactly after his alarm. He looked at it, and picked up the phone and dialed the number "I'm off today, I hope it's important Teddy" he whispered. Cristina opened her eyes slowly, and saw Owen on the phone. "Who are you talking to" Cristina asked. "Owen turned around "Teddy, she needs some help in the ER. I'll just talk to her and then I'm back here, she needs you for a surgery to, but it's at Seattle Pres. Since we're still shut down though it's been a week."He turned his back from Cristina who jumped out of bed "Eh, When is the surgery?" Her eyes were shining in pure happiness. Owen shrugged and walked out of the room. Cristina looked after him and heard the front door close with a bang. She heard her car start and walked out in the kitchen were there were a note. _10.50 at pres. I borrowed your car, hope it was ok! O. _Owens handwriting was smudgy but she sighed and pulled on her jogging clothes and had a cup of coffee before she ran to the hospital. She changed to her scrubs quick and easy in the locker room and she was heading out just as Meredith came in, with a slightly dead expression, yawning not just once but twice. "tired?" She asked as Mer looked up, "You don't say, I slept in Derek's bed all night again, but he's coming home next week, as they are re opening and they think he can take care of himself, or yeah Teddy will come to our house twice a day to check on him, but he eats and all so, and he's not in so much pain that he can't take a painkiller by himself." Meredith smiled. Cris sighed, and gave Mer a smile before she walked out just to find Teddy,

"What was the surgery later?" Teddy looked up,

"A vault replacement, I thought you could do it on your own while I'm just watching, is that okay?"

She blinked and laughed at Cris chocked face. Cristina grinned as the memories of the last heart surgery she did by herself had been.  
She had been standing there, seeing Owen get shot, she had a gun to her head and she had continued working. She felt so incredible strong, and she had made it. But she remembered Meredith, the pain she had been through when Jackson had pulled of the monitor. She could see Merediths face when she collapsed on the floor, she felt how Merediths heart broke and how she should started to feel nothing. _If that had been Owen,_ She thought as she kept flashbacking. She saw how Owen came back into the OR, with April right behind and a few feet behind, a bloody Meredith came. She remember she had been thinking, that Gary Clark had came in there and shoot her, but it was more on the inside of her thighs. She remembered Owens and Aprils faces when hers and Jackson's faces had turned into confusion. She remembered how Mer had held on her stomach, and bent down in a cramp as she were in labor. Cristina hadn't thought of it until April had bent over and whispered in her ear.  
"She's having a miscarriage"  
Cristina remembered those words, and how she had put Mer on a chair at Dereks head, and just worked until she had finished_. And she flashbacked it, a million times that day._

Cristina looked at the patient; she had taken the bus to Seattle Pres. During her trip she only had thought of Meredith, she couldn't stop thinking of her face that morning, how happy she had been over that, fetus or whatever it had been. She knew Mer hadn't had a checkup, and she knew she should have been more on to her so she'd gone there, but she didn't want to. She watched her sit in that chair in Dereks room, getting ice chips, listening to Teddy, and waiting. He had woken up once or twice each day, and Meredith had just sat there and smiled. Cristina had walked in on her sleeping that first night, she had been screaming in her sleep.  
"No, shoot me, kill me and his child, don't kill him Please"  
Mers words rang in her head, as she walked into an overflowed ER. She found Teddy and they walked to the patient in silence.

"That was really good, Dr. Yang" Teddy smiled at her

"Thanks , Dr. Altman" Cristina smiled back

"That suture on the vault, it was even better than mine"

"Well, Burke thought me well, I guess?" Cristina giggled as she thought of how she and Burke had done sutures on chickens when he had a GSW.

"Well, guess you are going back to SGH?" Teddy stopped at the nurses' station at Seattle Pres.

"Yeah, I will go check on Derek, sitting up is today right?"

Teddy nodded quick, "I trust you"

Cristina ran out, to catch the bus right before it closed its doors, and as she sat down in the third seat, in the old yellow school bus with its brown, worn seats. Cristina looked around, it were several doctors and nurses that transferred by the bus between the two hospitals, she recognized a few, but not many. She noticed a nurse from SGH, a blonde tall but chubby one, and she was trying to remember where she had seen her. She sat in front of shadow Shepherd, she thought of him, how he looked so, old. He couldn't be a day over his 40's. She put her IPod on and closed her eyes, and woke up by a hand on her shoulder.  
"We are at SGH now, I guess you're going off" it was a nice voice, she never heard before. And she rose and watched a young intern walk out from the bus. She shrugged and walked through the doors and under the catwalk. She looked at her watch, it was almost 9 pm, she had spent 5 hours in the OR, since they had to replace the vault and it had been really hard to get the old one out, even Teddy had hard to tell her how to do it. The new one had been perfect in though, it had been so easy, too easy almost and she had noticed she'd done her best sutures ever. She walked up to Dereks room and she watched Meredith sitting on his bedside, she heard her voice speaking. She didn't see the phone she had in her hand.  
"Yeah, you can come but he's going home soon I hope, and he's not awake so much."  
Meredith glared at the wall as she listened to the voice in the phone.  
"Well, okay. I'll get Mark to pick you up." She shut the phone down and turned to the door and snatched as she saw Cris's shape.

"damn, you scared me"

"so did you, who the hell were you talking to?"

"Dereks mom, she's coming here. I hope Derek is happy I called her, and his sisters. All four of them, though I got Addison on the phone when I called Amelia. It was kind of weird, but she was awesome, she said she might get here to, she said she had a case coming here and she could visit at the same time."

"But, we're closed to incoming trauma, I think?"

Mer shrugged. "I don't know, she's coming with Amelia anyway, and Kathleen is bringing Nancy and Carolyn is flying over with Julie. So, yeah it's going to be me, and all of them.."

Cristina looked at Derek that moved in his bed, "Well, maybe you should go home, or atleast get some clean clothes, you haven't changed your scrubs since like, three days ago?"

Mer looked at her, "Yeah, whatever, my other scrubs are bloody, YOU KNOW!" she looked at Cristina again and they walked out of the room to not wake Derek up. Cristina took Mer to the closest on-call room and just starred at her for several minutes. Mer sighed  
"Whatever, I'm going to get a bed and go to sleep"  
Cristina looked at her. "Good Idea, and ask for clean scrubs and take a shower, please? You'll feel so much better, I promise!"  
Mer nodded and they walked to the nurse's station and got a bed, and Mer went for a quick shower as Cristina got Derek sitting while Mer showered. When Mer came back, Derek sat in the bed, and smiled.  
"I'm getting better, you're person or whatever says I might get home next week"  
Mer giggled,  
"Yeah, but now, you need sleep, and so do I" She said, as she laid down in her bed that she had put right to Dereks, and she closed her eyes as Derek stroke her hair. And she fell asleep, and Derek laid down and fell asleep in three quick seconds.

Cristina walked into the bedroom, she saw Owen laying in the bed and she smiled, as she dressed of.  
"I had an AMAZING surgery today"  
Owen laughed, "I know, Teddy told me. She's creepily proud of you, you know!"  
Cristina snorted as she tried not to laugh.  
"I'm so tired" She said as she laid down beside Owen, and smelled his neck.  
"So am I" and he turned off the light and they kissed eachother goodnight and closed their eyes.  
And it became quiet and the only noise heard was Cristinas quiet snoring.

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**Yeah, Cris mostly.. I dont know, party weekend is up, so maybe you'll have to wait for next chapter, and the fact that i ahvn't started on any plans yet.  
Review, and i hope you think it's good. Hoping i'll get up chap 4 soon!**


	4. Chapter 4 all over the world

**A/N: SO yeah, yesterday my internet went out and i wrote for like 6 hours, finished 3 chapters. Funny me, FUNNY me.**

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Alex looked up in the roof, he couldn't remember that his bed had ever felt this nice.  
"Lexie?" He yelled and she sighed as she walked down the stairs.  
"I'm here, but I need to go to work. So you got to make it on your own in some way. Should I call someone? Like Mer?"  
Alex shook his head,  
"McDreamy needs her, and I can take care of myself, I can walk so I can sure as hell walk to the kitchen, it's like, 3 meters and I have a chair I can rest on if I get tired right?"  
Lexie nodded, "Great, I'm going then!" She kissed him in the forehead and walked out to her car.  
Alex looked at Lexie as she walked out; she was not as good looking as he thought Izzie was though she was a lot smarter... He had his own Lexiepedia, he thought while he pulled his hands through his hair. He grinned as he realized that the nurses talked about how Lexie turned down mark Sloan's proposal cause she were with him, he shuddered of the thought of actually be with her for the rest of his life. He realized what Ava/Rebecca or whatever her name was had meant, to be in a bed at SGH was to live in a freaking reality show. He knew more now than he ever done before, or heard from his friends. He lay in his bed watching a really bad TV-show about cars as he started to think of how he should break up with Lexie. He didn't know his problem already was solved as Lexie walked into the hospital and to the locker room.

Lexie looked at her locker, there was a big red rose, tied to a note saying _Meet me at Joe's tonight, we need to talk /M _  
Lexie sighed, I'm with Alex, the thought was going through her mind while she changed, she realized how wrong it sounded. She knew she belonged with Mark; she was just too stubborn to admit it.  
Lexie walked over to the room were Derek was, and walked in just as Carolyn, Nancy, Kathleen, Amelia and Julie did. She scratched the back of her head as she looked at Mer who followed her out.  
"Mer, I think I'm going to break up with Alex, seriously, Why couldn't you tell me Mark and I are MFEO"  
"wow, you got that now?" Mer snapped.  
"Yeah, but is it a bad time?"  
"no, just do it, he'll be happy! I promise, it's not like you're not friends or anything"  
Lexie sighed, "True" as she turned around and walked away.  
Mer looked after her as she walked back in,  
"Sorry for that!" She smiled  
"Well, We've met before" Carolyn gave her a hug. "I'm so glad you called!"  
"Derek said that he wanted his family, once a few years ago" Mer smiled as Nancy hugged her.  
"Long time ago" She smiled, and Meredith remember her when they had met the first time.

_First she had walked in them, Derek naked and Nancy in the bed._**  
**_"Okay, the trailer sucks but in the light of day, the land's nice. Seattle's pretty in the daylight. Plus you have your thing for ferries, so" Nancy smiled.  
"Ferryboats" Mer and Der said with one mouth.  
"Right, whatever."  
"Dr. Stevens, Meredith, this is my sister Nancy." Derek had marked the word Sister.  
__**"**__Sister?" Mer had got a funny twist on her face  
"Yeah, uh-hmm." Derek had mumbled  
"Oh, you're one of Derek's sisters. __" Mer had laughed  
"__ Um, yeah. Well I knew you didn't think I was the wife since you already ran her off. __" Nancy had tried to joke__  
__**"**__Nancy is visiting from Connecticut , she's on her way home now, straight back home."  
"Well, it was nice to meet you." Mer and Iz had been so quiet.  
__**"**__Okay." Nancy had smiled at Mer.  
__**"**__McDreamy's sister is McBitchy.__**"**__Iz had laughed when they'd been out of Der and Nancy's sight._

"I'm so happy to meet you" Kathleen smiled,  
"We all are" Amelia and Julie agreed as they hugged Mer.  
"Derek told us about you, but not so much. Maybe he's afraid we'll scare you away" Kath smiled and blinked to Derek.  
Meredith pulled her left hand through her hair, and started to think about the past weeks.  
She was surprised they hadn't gone home when SGH had reopened as they had planned. Two days ago more or less, she was happy though, so she didn't need to have Derek's entire family in the house. That she knew she weren't ready for.  
Nancy looked at her…  
"Meredith? MEREDITH?"  
Meredith looked up,  
"sorry, yeah?"  
The Shepherd family, all six of them started to laugh.  
Meredith looked down, and felt how she blushed, as Derek stood up and walked towards her and kissed her.  
"Don't do this. She's scared. You called her slutty and little, be nice!" Derek turned around.  
"Mom, can you go home and get her some clothes, and you can sleep there tonight! It's not so nice to sleep here"  
Carolyn smiled "Sure, we'll go and leave or stuff now."  
Mer looked at them "Take all rooms, Alex's is sleeping on the bottom floor, it'd be awesome if you checked on him before you went back, if you can?"  
Nancy smiled "Of course, and we'll make some lunch that we bring back here, this food here is crap, really crap"  
Mer and Der started to laugh, and the five Shepherds looked at them and fell in.  
Mer picked up the keys to their car and threw them to Carolyn, and the family went to their house.

Alex heard the footsteps outside, and the door opening and voices he never heard before.  
"Who is it?" He screamed out in the hallway.  
"We are Dereks family" Nancy answered, and walked into the living room where Alex sat in the sofa.  
"you must be Alex, Mer said you'd be home"  
From the kitchen they heard Julies voice  
"What a cozy little house"  
"Yeah, it is" Kathleen said.  
Alex looked suspicious at Nancy.  
"Why are you here?"  
"We're staying here tonight and we've got to get Mer some clean clothes and so"  
"If you make food, can I get some then?" Alex smiled a half smile.  
"Of Course" Carolyn said as she stepped into the living room. "No one is not eating in this house!"  
"I'm taking this back to Mer and DearBear" Kathleen said, and went out to the car with a bag of clothes and a few boxes of food.  
Carolyn and the other girls started to make dinner, and when Julie looked at the watch she screamed out.  
"it's 8 pm, I got to call John" As she ran out to the phone in the hallway.  
The other girls started to laugh as she almost tripped on the rug.

Kathleen walked in to Dereks room.  
"DearBear?"  
Derek looked up from the sofa where he laid,  
"OH food!" He smiled. "I'm starving, what do you have?"  
Kathleen laughed, "Ehm, tacos.. " she blinked at him.  
Mers face showed up from the sofa,  
"Did I hear the word Tacos and I WILL love you"  
They all started to laugh till they didn't get air.  
"Why is there a tumor drawn on your bedroom wall?" Kathleen asked carefully  
Derek and Meredith looked at eachother and bursted out in a huge laughter again.  
"I had a patient once, it was an inoperable tumor, but I drew it on the wall and the next day I removed it and the patient still could walk" Derek smiled. "Am I good, or am I good?"  
Meredith giggled "You're the best" And kissed him.  
Kathleen shook her head,  
"Well Mom and the girls made dinner, so I'm going back, we'll come by tomorrow"  
Derek smiled "Fine, goodnight!"  
Kath shook her head, _Derek, you funny little man_. She remembered how protective he'd been over Mer since the day he divorced Addison, since forever.  
She understood her Brother though, she remembered how they'd been at Addison in the beginning and she laughed as she drove to the house.  
She walked in to a smell of food and she sat down and they had an awesome dinner of Meatloaf and pasta with tomato sauce.  
"Mom, you are the best" The girls smiled before they walked out to get a long nights good sleep until their short visit the next day and long drive home.

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**A/N: So Mer finnaly met Derek's entire family.**

**But how is Lexie/Alex dealing with their problems? are they going to break up? We'll we're leacing them for a few chapters and focusing on Mer/Der and their realtionship.  
**


	5. Chapter 5 over and out?

**A/N: okay, so now apparantly i've missed a piece and i lost it on the cpmuter, so live with it. hahah!**

**The Shepherd girls/womans whatever, have gone back home. And Mer/Der gets TWO whole chapters now before we'll turn somewhere else. **

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"_bring it back to the time when you and me had just begun  
when I was still your number one.  
Do you remember all of the times we had"_  
Mer looked at her watch singing quietly as she turned up the volume on the radio in her cellphone.  
I miss when I was everything, before this shit happened, we're just a boring married couple.  
Mer She sat in the sofa in Dereks room, they had a private room for these two last days here, or well, she thought of it, they would go home the day after tomorrow but they'd had it for another day before.  
_It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.  
_Mer hummed low to the new song, and she realized the clock was 1.15 AM. She giggled a little to herself and she started to sing when Derek turned to her. He was able to sleep without all the machines and stuff, only a monitor and the IV, but he had heard her sing but he wouldn't admit that to her. HE looked at her face, she had a kind of miserable face, he didn't know why, but he knew he treated her more, like he had treated Addie. He felt he needed to change that.  
"Good morning, night or whatever my beautiful dearest" He smiled humbled.  
Meredith turned her face to him in shock,  
"You don't sleep?" She laughed quietly  
He gave her a short nod and sighed quickly, Mer took a deep breath.  
"Whatever, its homeday soon. And I talked to the chief or whatever, I guess he's chief now until you get back?" She rolled her eyes  
"Whatever, I'm off for four days then, so you can get all fixed at home"  
She gave him an enormous smile as she felt her pager vibrate.  
She ran out of the room,  
"Be right back my love" As Derek looked after her.  
Derek lay back in bed, he pulled the hands through his hair, and he sat on the edge on the bed. He started to saunter and looked out through the window, to see the shape of space needle. _I've lived here for; seven years and I haven't been at Space Needle with Mer, we've been dating for, 5 years, atleast. Seriously_  
At that exact moment he decided what he were going to do. He just didn't want to plan it until he was back at home. He felt that it was the right thing, and he knew it had to be in around three weeks.  
He started to think of when Teddy would let him go out around people, he put himself to check with her, and he had to call his mother.  
Mer walked back in just as he sat down on the bed again,  
"I miss your mom though they went home yesterday"  
Derek looked at her.  
"So do I, it was calming those two days she was here,"  
Mer looked down in the floor.  
"She's coming back next week, when I go back to work so you're not alone at home."  
Meredith took a deep breath as she looked up to meet Derek's reaction.  
Derek giggled as he saw Mers terrified face.  
"And you are scared cause?" He stood up and walked over to Mer, and sat down beside her and kissed her softly on her lips. Mer felt a tear running down her face and she quickly dried it away.  
Derek looked at her, caressed her hair and her back and held her tight to his chest.  
"What's wrong Beautiful? It's not like I'm leaving you" He had a really worried tone when he talked.  
Mers innermost wanted to tell him what it really was, tell him about the miscarriage that she could dream nightmares about, that could wake her up screaming in the middle of the night, the flashbacks she had of Gary Clark, and everything.  
"I just, I just want it to be as it should be" She sobbed into his chest. Derek pushed her even tighter to her chest, and smelled her hair, took deep breaths of her smell.  
"I keep thinking you don't love me as much as before, or that you stopped loving me."  
"I know, I know " Derek never thought of that he answered to both her announcements until he heard her sobs.  
He doesn't love me, Mer thought while she fell asleep in his arms. If I leave, he won't care.  
Derek held Mer in his arms until she fell asleep, she slowly relaxed in his grip and her sobs slowed down to regular breaths.  
"Mer I'm NOT finished loving you, not in atleast 70 more years! I love you till the day I die. " He whispered, hoping she heard him, as he started to form his plans.  
He put her down and lied down beside her, he looked at his watch which showed almost 4 am, and he closed his eyes and fell asleep tight to Mers body.

As Derek woke up again, Mer was gone. He felt his heartbeat increase and he made a quick phone call to his mom,  
"Hi Mom, it's me!"  
He heard her voice on the other line and he slowly calmed down.  
"I need your help, can you plan a real wedding, like a big one to take place in three months, NOT telling Meredith?"  
"Of course but, shouldn't she try out the dress and all that? Knowing there's a wedding?"  
Dereks laughed  
"She won't know and Cristina has her dress, I never saw it so we can use it! And she will think it's the dress she's going to try when it's the wedding? PLEASE MOM"  
As he finished that sentence Mer opened the door.  
"Mom, can you hang on for a bit. Or, I'll call you back" He hung up his phone and looked at Mer, her eyes were red, swollen and he could see she had cried.  
"Mer?" He looked at her as she breathed.  
"I don't know, Derek, I don't know what to say." She started to cry again, and Derek jumped out of bed and pulled her into his chest. Mer crawled out of his grip and looked at him.  
"I'm not sure what I'm doing. But, yeah…"  
Derek looked after her as she walked out, he felt like he'd been left, maybe she dumped him. He wasn't sure. He quickly dialed Teddy's number.  
"Shepherd, what's up?"  
"Teddy, when can I be out, around people, apparently I, yeah long story! Whatever, I need to go out on dinner, as soon as possible. When?"  
Teddy looked at the date of the day, and counted for herself.  
"Well, tomorrow I guess."  
Derek smiled, "Thanks, awesome!"

He hung up and called the Space needle restaurant.  
"Hey, I need a reservation tomorrow at 8 pm."  
They spoke a while, and he fixed the perfect table before he hung up.  
He lied back in his bed, and fell asleep just before Cristina marched in.

"IDIOT" she yelled as Derek slowly opened his eyes. Derek looked at her, and he didn't get it.  
"You said, you didn't love her anymore? WHY? She hasn't been through enough?"  
Derek realized she was talking about Meredith, and he opened his mouth.  
"I need your.. " He started but Cristina cut him.  
"You, FIX IT!" And she turned to the door.  
"Cristina, STAY. I need your help.." She turned around and looked at him.  
"I want to help an idiot?"  
Derek gave her an irritated glance.  
"Shut it Yang, Just help me.. Tomorrow around 7.45 pm you take her and driver her to space needle. Please?"  
Cristina glared at him, "Yeah, sure.. just fix it!"  
Derek scoffed, "I will, don't tell her. Just, don't okay?"  
She smiled, "Sure but why?"  
"Because I'm proposing, again, and this time we're having a REAL wedding. In a church, with a dress and a minister and you know, all that?"  
Cristina giggled "Sounds awesome McDreamy, I won't tell!"

Cristina drove home and she promised Mer she could sleep on her couch. It was dead quiet in the car, and as they walked in Mer started to sob.  
"Get yourself together" Cristina looked at Mer.  
"But, I think.. I think I dumped him. Or he dumped be, he said he didn't love me anymore…" Mer cried and Cristina scoffed at her.  
"Give it a break, you'll come around."  
They walked in and Cristina gave Owen a kiss on the cheek as she passed, and he looked at Mer.  
"She thought she dumped McDreamy, McDreamy has a plan, Long story" She whispered.  
Owen nodded, and walked into bed. Mer sat on the couch while Cristina got her a pillow and a quilt.  
"Did I do something stupid when I dumped him?" Mer looked at Cristina with something looking like deer eyes,  
"You look like Kepner, you know that?" Cristina whined.  
Mer looked at her.  
" I did break up with him, I did… didn't i?"

* * *

**OHHHH, i know.. i am mean. An awesome cliffhanger!  
and i who planned to publish chap.6 .. no tomorrow, ohyes! **


	6. Chapter 6 the reason

**Here's the answer, did she, or did she NOT break up? we're getting all our answers here. **

* * *

" _I did break up with him, I did… didn't i?"_

Derek woke up with a strange feeling; he looked out and saw the sun shine.  
The sun doesn't shine in Seattle. He stood up to see Teddy stand in the door.  
"I guess, you need a ride down to the jewelry?" She laughed when his eyes widened.  
"Yeah, that'd be awesome, I guess?"  
"Cristina told Owen, and he told me.. That's how I know. Everyone except Mer knows, if I'm not mistaken!"  
"That's awesome, I guess! I just got to go home first, if that's Okay, I need to get the ring my Mom gave me, and engrave in it."  
Teddy shrugged and they walked out together, and as they rounded the first corner they met Mer.  
Derek smiled at her, and she turned around and ran away, all Derek got to see were her eyes that filled with tears.  
Teddy got a terrified look on her face, and Derek looked after Meredith who bumped into Lexie.  
"Hey, what's… " Lexie begun.  
"I think i broke up with Derek, and he's going out with Teddy" Meredith got out between her sobs.  
"But, you are Married?"  
"On a post it… Yeah, he's still going out with Teddy, both were all dressed up and shit"  
"But then you are engaged?"  
Meredith grumbled and looked at Lexie.  
"Yeah, whatever… Apparently we broke up? Or he seems to think that!"  
"I don't think he does. Really. He was destroyed when you just walked out yesterday"  
Meredith starred at Lexie. "WHAT?"  
"Yeah, he just sat there all day. He didn't even eat. You know he sat there and all he said was, She's the love of my life" Lexie made up, she knew she was a crappy liar but Mer seemed to buy this one.  
"Maybe he meant Teddy then, cause he haven't called me or anything"  
Lexie sighed, "Well then you two have broken up then. That's it" She turned around and walked away into the closest On-call room and pulled up her Cell.  
"She thinks you broken up. Like for real." She said in a desperate voice.  
"Let her think that then" Derek answered.  
"She's crying her eyes out, creepy depression"  
"Crap, I'm moving up the dinner two hours. Tell Cristina it's at 6 instead."  
"Derek, that's in an hour" Lexie laughed as she saw Mer open the door.  
"I got to go, I'll tell her, Awesome!" She closed her phone and looked at Mer.  
"Cristina said you're going out in an hour. Shouldn't you change?" Lexie looked at Mer as she quickly texted Cristina. _Dinner moved til 6_.

Cristina picked up her phone to read the text from Lexie. She looked at the clock,  
"Crap, I got to go drive Mer." She smiled at Owen.

Cristina brought Mer a Short black strapless dress and a pair of high heels, and put it in her car before took off to the hospital.  
As she gave them to Mer, she giggled and she looked at her watch.  
"Hey, I got to run and tell Owen we're going out" She smiled.  
Mer smirked and nodded.  
And Cristina turned around the corner and into the supply closet and called Derek.  
"Are you done? Ready and all that?"  
Derek smiled.  
"Yes, the ring is engraved, I'm dressed and I have a table. It's done."  
"Good, can we take of now?"  
"Sure, go ahead. I'm waiting in the entrance of the Space Needle!"  
Cristina came back, just as Mer started to wonder where she'd been.  
"Damn, you took long"  
"yeah, I couldn't find him at first" Cristina laughed. "but, now, let's take of"  
She put Mer in the car and they drove off to the space needle. Mer sat there, completely quiet and Cristina saw the tears that ran down her face, but she didn't comment it. She parked the car, beside the door, and they walked inside. Mer with tears streaming down her face, and Cristina with a perky little smile, and as they entered Cristina said,  
"Mer, wait…I forgot my wallet, I just got to run out and get it" She smiled, "I'm coming back in a few seconds"  
Mer gave her an indifferent look and sat down on the bench, and Cristina walked out whistling like she and Derek had decided. Brainguy have a Brain, she though as she walked out and stopped outside too look inside through the window.  
Derek walked in from the other side of the building as Mer rose from the bench..  
"There you are my love" He smiled and Mer turned around and her eyes widened.  
"We broke up, didn't we?" She felt the tears streaming down her face.  
"Did we?"  
"I don't know…"  
Derek smiled, and took a step forward and kissed her lips gently, and Mer started to smile.  
"Come on, dinner is waiting" Derek blinked at her and reached out his hand.  
Mer took his hand and they walked up and sat down at the table.  
Mer looked at him, his new shaved face, his perfect eyes, his perfect shaped cheeks and his perfect hair. He was more than perfect, he was amazing, he was… McDreamy. She smiled, and she felt how she started to cry again, and in less than a second Derek sat closer beside her and dried off her tears and kissed her forehead.  
"Don't cry, it breaks my heart" He whispered in her ear, in the same time as the waiter came with their orders, or well Derek's orders. They ate in silence and Derek put his left arm around Meredith and gave her small kisses during the entire meal. For desert Derek ordered in chocolate cake, and _I will NEVER stop loving you _were put on Mers piece.  
"I will never stop loving you, You are the love of my life" Derek smiled.  
"I love you so much" Meredith smiled as she dried away a tear from her face.  
Derek smiled when he knew the timing was perfect. He looked at Mer, and they finished dinner in silence.  
As they drove home Mer only smiled more and more.  
"What are you smiling at?" Derek giggled.  
"You maybe?"  
"Well, that's odd?"  
"No, I Love you Derek!"  
"I love you to Meredith!"  
"Forever?"  
"Forever!"  
Meredith smiled and kissed Dereks cheek, and put her hand to his chest.  
"How is the wound?"  
He laughed, "It's good, and Teddy cleared me to go home tonight!"  
Mer gave a quiet screech. "Yey" She laughed.  
Derek smiled, "yeah!"  
HE pulled the car on the driveway and he led Mer into the house. Lexie and Mark sat in the kitchen, and Mer and Derek smiled to eachother, even though Lexie hadn't broken up with Alex yet.  
They walked towards the bedroom Derek had decorated all day, on the bed it was a big heart in red roses, and there were candles all over the room. Just like he had done it last time, when Addie had called though this time he had turned his cellphone off. He let Mer in first, and she lost her breath when she stepped in.  
"What is all this?" She said as Derek pushed her in the middle of the room.  
He went down on one knee as she turned around to face him.  
"Marry me, for real this time"  
Meredith just stared at him as she started to smile.  
"Yeah" She said, or mumbled.  
Derek rose from his position and dug up a ring out from his pocket.  
Mer took it in her hand and read the engraving _**I love you until the day I die Meredith&Derek**_. Mer felt how she started to cry, and she felt Dereks soft touch as he wiped the tears away, before he grabbed her in his arms and they just lay beside eachother in the bed. Meredith smiled as Derek kissed her again, and again and again. She stopped counting their kisses when they reached what felt like a million.

* * *

**So, they didn't. Now we're focusing on Alex/lexie/Mark for a while. Cause we're heading to an kind of scary triangledrama!**


	7. Chapter 7 and we're making a turn

**So, we're heading out for a triangledrama here**. **Now for a few chapters we're mostly at the Lexie/mark/alex thing. Ofcourse the others will come in, but we're focusing on their lovetriangle, and i will be the only one knowing how this will end, until i published it ofc, haha!**

* * *

Mark smiled at Lexie as they sat at the table in Mers house.  
"You know, Alex l…" Mark started but was interrupted by the door and Derek and Merediths voices.  
He glanced over at Lexie and they laughed as they thought of Dereks plan, they were chocked that Mer hadn't found out yet, since Derek somehow told and involved nearly everyone in the entire hospital. They heard the footsteps walking upstairs and a few minutes later they heard Mers gasp.  
"He asked her to marry him" said Mark and gave up a sound that made Lexie laugh so much as she lost her breath. Mark looked at her and gasped as he patted her lower back.  
"You, are the l.." Lexie hesitated as she looked down in the floor.  
"What? Alexandra Caroline Grey, What?" Mark groaned as he looked at her.  
"I don't know, I don't love Alex, that's the truth, he's not the love of my life" She whispered the last four words but Mark had put his ears on highest level of listening.  
"And you tell me this because?" Mark raised one eyebrow and Lexie laughed at his hysterically funny face. Mark grinned and slapped her shoulder before he walked out.  
"Tell Karev he's a funny smelly little man" He mentioned before he walked out.

Lexie walked into Alex room, and looked at him as he sat in the bed watching TV.  
"Hey, can I have something to eat? Like a really awesome turkey sandwich?" Alex smiled at her.  
Lexie nodded, she knew there was no good time for doing what she wanted, break up.  
" I Love you Lex" Alex smiled when she turned around to get him the sandwich. She froze as she lifted her left foot and Alex smiled when she turned around to him again. He had used a soft voice she never heard before, and she couldn't figure out if he was serious or not.  
"I love you To Alex" She smiled as she walked out.  
Alex smiled, he didn't know. Did he love her, or did he not. She loved Mark; he heard the hesitation in her voice. He wanted to have her, but he didn't want to have her forever, he wanted Izzie. Everyone knew that, except Lexie, or did she know that? Was he just like, her rebound-guy?

Mark sat in his car, Lexie loved him. He knew it, he just had to get her to admit it, and she didn't love Alex, even though he heard her say that, but he knew she had hesitated when she said it, her voice rang in his ear. _You are the l.. _ove of my life, he knew that was the continuation for her sentence.  
He didn't know, if she was going to choose Alex. He felt stuck, in the middle of a big triangle drama. Well, Lexie loved him, he loved her and Alex, well he loved Izzie, but he loved Lexie a little bit to. Mark thought about it as he drove off to his apartment.

* * *

_Next morning_

Lexie walked upstairs, she had a drawer in Alex's room that she had some clothes in, and she knew she needed to place them in her own room. _California girls, we're undeniable. _She sang as she walked around, she took a big box as she pulled down all her clothes in Alex's drawer that were hers and she closed his door quickly. She looked up in the roof and noticed a huge spider on its thread that was going down towards her head. She screeched as she took one step forward, on step she should have looked down while she took, with the box in her arms she missed the first step and fell headlong down the stairs. She gave a loud screech as she fell before she hit her head and everything turned black.

Alex heard Lexies scream and then he heard a few bounces and a final crack when Lexie landed outside the living room, he rose from his seating and noticed Lexies unmoving body. He stepped towards here and started to look after her pulse.  
" Lex? Lexie? LEXIE?" He screamed when he didn't get any response.  
He turned to his left, and saw that the phone laid beside him, he took a calming breath as he dialed 911.  
"Hello, ehm. I'm Alex Karev, I need an ambulance. My girlfriend fell down the stairs.." He hummed a few times and gave the address. "Ehm, can you get them to page Meredith Grey to, it's her sister" He said before he hung up. He sat down beside Lexie as he felt his own wound hurting. He sighed and started to count her pulse, he lost count several times before he got it right before the paramedics arrived.  
"Her pulse is slightly over 70" He sounded terrified.  
"Are you a doctor?" the young paramedic asked.  
"Yeah, I work at Seattle Grace. Or I got shot so I'm not working now, but I'm a surgeon there"  
"Oh, wait.. You're the guy that… wait.. helped the chief when I had my hand in that guy right?"  
Alex looked at her as they were putting Lexie on the stretcher.  
"Oh, you're Hannah?" He simply asked.  
"yeah, are you coming?"  
He looked as they had Lexie outside the door, he nodded and grabbed his cell and dialed Mers number.  
"Hi, I'm coming in with Lexie, did they page you?" Alex asked when Mer picked up.  
"Yeah, I'm in the entrance with Derek" Her voice was shaking.  
"He's working?" Alex voice broke when he turned his face to Lexie.  
"No, he's just with me. He had a check up with Teddy, to see if he could go home for sure or if it was just last night."  
Alex sighed and he heard the driver announce it was 3 minutes left till the hospital.  
"We're there in three minutes" He mumbled to Mer before he hung up.  
He sat there and watched Lexie struggle with her breathing, knowing they needed to get her intubated. As they stopped and started to move her out of the ambulance Alex heard Mers gasp, Dereks gasp and Baileys calming voice.  
"MOVE DAMMIT" She screamed at Hannah. Alex slowly got out from the ambulance and Mer caught him as he collapsed in her arms. They walked inside and sat down in the waiting area, and as Mer started to cry Derek let her crawl up in his lap and he caressed her back, and he kissed her forehead over and over again.  
"It's going to be fine, she's going to make it" He whispered quietly, trying to comfort the woman is his arms. _She has to make it, she can't die. Nelson may do the consult, Nelson has to, I have t get there. I have to check. Nelson, Bailey, she's smart, she'll have Nelson taking it. _Dereks head spun on thoughts, and he kissed Mers head again when Bailey walked out and headed towards them.  
"She's in surgery, Nelson's taking care of a bleeding in the brain, and when she's stable from that we'll go in and fix the hernia she got since that's not threatening. She has a collapsed lung and she's not breathing on her own so she's on the vent, and we might have to put in a central line.."  
Mer gasped, she didn't get any air as she listened to Bailey.  
"But we might not need to.. it depends on how Shadow Shepherd made it.. "_ if he made it or not_ Bailey thought and looked at the three persons sitting there and were seriously broken by this when Nelson came out.  
"I did what I could.." He said calm. Mer starred at him as she started to cry and Alex just started to gasp for air.

* * *

**Well, with Derek gone, Nelson had to take it right?  
found it interesting to bring him into the story on a corner since he's shadow shepherd and he's kind of good what i've heard.  
**

**Anyway, did Lexie make it through? Bailey left before he was done, she didn't know.**

**Rewievs are love! **


	8. Chapter 8 Forever Young

_**So, Lexie fell down the stairs. Did Nelson handle it, and how does Mark take the news and can they handle what's coming up?  
**_

_

* * *

"I did what I could.." Nelson said calm _

"She's not awake yet, and I don't know how long it will be. But she made it through." Nelson smiled at them. Mer looked up, _She made it, she's still alive._ She hugged Derek and kissed his forehead when she remembered.  
"Mark…" She choked between the tears.  
Derek looked at her in concern and kissed her again, before he pulled up his phone and texted Mark. He didn't have the voice of speaking at the moment.

Mark woke up by his phone, he turned away and sighed. _Lexie's in the hospital, get here… _  
He sighed, what the hell. She wasn't his girlfriend, so why would he care. Innermost he did care though, but he was cranky, it was 2 am and he wanted to sleep. He sighed when he stood up, then it hit him. Lexie was in the hospital, she was hurt, injured.. He ran out to the car and drove as fast as he possibly could to find Derek, Meredith and … Alex in the waiting area.  
"What?" Mark gasped.  
"She fell down the stairs…" Alex looked at Mark.  
Mark starred at them, and he fought his instinct of running to her.  
"Where is..?" His eyes filled with tears.  
"She's in the ICU.. Nelson just finished her surgery" Derek spoke up; he felt his need to step in before anything happened between the two Lexie lovers. Mer stood at his side, her tiny hand were shaking and she was red-eyed and her face was swollen from all the crying. Derek kissed her head every few minutes and Alex he stood there, struggling with his breathing and hurting. Mark starred and he was a few seconds to walk away, walk back, to Joe's and have a drink when Bailey came down.  
"You can go up, she's not awake but you can be there." Bailey noticed Mark, "You too" She commanded him.

They walked together into the room, and the first one to gasp was Mark, he saw the pale face that was lying in the bed, with her right leg in a huge packet and hooked up to several machines to help her breathe, to help her heart, to help everything. Alex froze as he entered  
"oh, hell…" He got up.  
Mer starred at the machines, and cuddled into Derek's chest. He rubbed her back as he listened to the beeps from all the machines. _Oh my god, this is how I looked, I laid here, all the wires, the machines, shit.. _ The memories of the wound he had on his chest and how they got there all flashed by his eyes. He now understood what Mer had seen, when he laid in the ICU, when he was wounded.  
The first one to step to the tiny person in the bed was Mark.  
"I know you don't hear me but. It's going to be fine. It's all going to be fine" He whispered in her ear and he stroke her hair.

Mer left Dereks arm and took a step forward, when the pain hit her back. She froze for a moment and then rubbed her lower back gently.  
"Mer, are you okay?" Derek looked at her before his eyes returned to Lexie.  
"Yeah, I just have to find Cristina" She smiled at him and walked out.  
"What the hell is going on with her?" He looked at Alex who shrugged and walked in and sat down in the chair. He looked at Mark, as he took a few deep breaths.

Mer walked outside the ICU, as she felt the same cramp in her back once again. She sighed when she heard Cristinas voice.  
"Mer, what the…"  
"Help me to OB" Mer choked.  
Cristina glanced at Mer while she rubbed her back.  
"Want Derek to follow?"  
She shook her head. "I can page him when I know it's a complete miscarriage. If it is."  
"He doesn't know you… " Cristina couldn't say it.  
"Lost his baby, no.. he doesn't…"  
Cristina walked her in to OB and they say down in the waiting area.  
"Wait.. you didn't got checked until NOW?" Cristinas eyes widened.  
"No, didn't think I needed" She glared as they was called into the exam room.

"Well, it was a complete miscarriage, you won't need anything. But for that pain, I'd recommend to slow down, no work or heavy lifting." Mer nodded towards the OB.  
", can you look after her for the next week, if she has too much of these cramps you'd bring her here okay?" Cristina nodded and they headed out.  
"You okay now?" Mer asked Cristina as they walked down to Lexie again.  
"Yeah, the question.. Are YOU okay? Having any cramps or whatever?"  
Mer shook her head.  
"Those meds really helped" She smiled as they turned to the ICU.  
Cristina shook her head,  
"I have a surgery, got to go. I guess you can make it on your own?" Mer pulled her head to the side. "Yeah, I'm not an invalid" She walked in to the room were her husband, Alex and Mark sat.  
She sat down in Dereks lap, as he turned his face to her.  
"You were gone long, really long" She smiled.  
"Yeah, it took time to get those pain meds I needed to stop those co.. cramps" She was to close to say contractions and Derek noticed.  
"Contractions?" His voice was filled with concern.  
"Cramps, or it might be contractions.. they didn't know" She whispered and looked away.  
"You're not pregnant are you?" Dereks eyes widened.  
Meredith shook her head, "No, I'm not" she felt her eyes fill with tears and she wiped them away.  
Derek cuddled her up against his chest, despite the small pain he felt in the incision he felt his wife was most important. He kissed her shoulder as she hid her face in his arms and she slowly fell asleep.

Lexies machines suddenly beeped, disturbing Mers dreams. Mark and Alex had left for eating, they had left together and Derek had stayed with Mer.  
" I'm your eye for an eye. "Mer spoke during her dreams.  
"Tell Derek I'm sorry and that I love him" Derek looked at Mer as she kept dreaming.  
"I'm having a miscarriage, I need lidocane are you going to help me?"  
She slowly opened her eyes as Lexies machines beeped once again, this time it was a creepy beep, it wasn't normal. Derek looked up just to watch Lexies blood pressure hit the roof. Mer gasped as she watched the machines and jumped forward to Lexies bedside.  
"She's never been hypertensive before" Mer choked "Page Bailey"  
Derek looked at the monitor, "We need to fix this Mer, she doesn't have time" He heard his voice and he took a deep breath. "We need to give her this" He put a white thing into the needle and she slowly stabilized.  
"We're you having nightmares Mer? You said you wanted him to shoot you?" He looked at her as she breathed to slow her heartbeat down.  
"Yeah, I dreamt of the day Gary was here.." She felt a sudden urge to sleep again.  
"Derek I'm tired.. I dream a lot these days okay?" She noticed he hadn't mentioned the miscarriage, she guessed he ignored that or she hoped he hadn't heard but.  
Alex and Mark walked in, and they noticed Mer stood up.  
"Something happened?" Mark starred at Lexie.  
"Yeah, her blood pressure went through the roof, but Derek fixed it" Mer smiled as she sat down in Dereks lap again.  
"oh, well good. If you two want to sleep we are here now. We can page you if we need help!"  
Mer nodded and she and Derek headed to the closest on-call room where they fell asleep tight to eachother. Mers nightmare didn't come back, it didn't come back for several months actually.

* * *

**Yeah, i put in some MerDer to, had to... Will Derek ever figure out it was the real thing or do he keep thinking its just nightmares, and will Lexie ever wake up..  
And are Mark and Alex freinds though they both want Lexie?  
We're heading out for a real big drama, but there will be a short time til i can get next chapter up..**

**Rewives are love!  
**


	9. Chapter 9 How to save a life

**This is going to be, a breaker. Sorry for the long hold up, but i was sick, and i didn't have energy to write or so.  
Plus i've started on another fic so yeah.. but anyway here's the next chapter! reminder - KEEP BREATHING, all the time**_  


* * *

A nurse was standing beside her bed, "SHE'S CRASHING, there's …"_

Lexie starred at the light that blinded her. She opened and closed her eyes a few times and looked around. It was empty, it was empty around her. Not a single person, she was in the ICU but there weren't anyone there.

All sudden there were steps behind her and she spun around to hear Susan's voice.  
"Lexie?" She watched her mom in front of her.  
"Mom?" Lexies voice was confused; she had turned around in the empty ICU to see her Mom, who was dead.  
"Alexandra Caroline Grey, why are you here?" Susan's voice spoke rapidly; she knew she didn't know how much time she had. Susan looked at Lexie, who opened her mouth.  
"I.. I…. I don't know.. I fell, I think.. now.. I were am I?" Lexie kept looking around and outside the glassed windows of the room she sat in she now noticed someone near and dear to her.  
"Lexie.. you're… d" Susan voice broke. "You're de.." Lexie smiled out through the window.  
"George?" She jumped down and hugged him as he looked at her, he frisked her up and down before he gave her a sly smile.  
"Lexie, why.. ?" His raspy voice shocked her as she smiled.  
"I fell down the stairs, I think.. it was a spider.. I was.. breaking up with Alex or something.. " She shook her head. "Whatever"  
George and Susan looked at eachother.  
"It's NOT whatever Alexandra Caroline Grey" Susan barked.  
"Lexie, you know all you get here is.. " He took a deep breath as he felt all the doctors in the room, on the other side. "Moments with the people. Right now, Mer is standing right here, and Derek" They're worried about you. Mer is crying, and she's thinking about her baby, the one she lost thinking she will lose you to, she thinks of when she was.. dead.. She met Dylan, Denny, her mom… yeah a lot of people."George used his wise voice to get Lexies attention.  
Lexie smiled, "I feel Mark.. " Her eyes sparkled and she looked at her mom.  
"Wait, does this mean I'm dead?"  
Susan and George both nodded,  
"or we're not sure, cause.. you can be here and just be half dead, or on way to death, if you don't fight." George added as he saw Lexies face.  
"But I want to go back, I want Mark, I want his babies. I want to be a surgeon, I want to save lives.. I don't want to die cause of a fucking spider" Lexie started to cry.  
"You can try, and you have to. Mer won't handle loosing you and her baby. That'd be too much, she barely handled loosing Doc, her Mom, Susan and a lot of others, she's lost so many during her years, and this close to her baby, her dream, that'd be too much" George kept going on as Lexies eyes widened.  
"She had a baby?" Lexie starred at him and it became quiet.  
"She miscarried, when Derek was on the table" George said quietly.  
Lexie gasped, "And she didn't tell me? Yeah she cares about me" She hissed.  
"She does, but it's a tragedy for her, she didn't want to think about it, she found out the same morning." Susan whispered, she realized the more they got, the less time did they have left.  
"Lexie, you have to decide.. If you don't want to be here, you have to go" Georges voice was angry.  
Lexie starred at him and she saw a movement behind him.  
"Reed, Charles?" Her voice was squeaky and her eyes were searching the room for more people she knew.  
"Yeah, if you want to stay here. Stay here, otherwise, run.. now" Reeds voice was hard, almost masculine. Lexie looked around,  
"Where should i… ?" She was shaking, her voice was shaking and she was a little blurry for a moment.  
- - - - - -

_The monitor still beeped, there was a few beats.  
"Bradycardia"  
30 seconds passed by, and the lines flattened.  
"Asystole"  
Outside the room Meredith cried in Dereks arms, _**this is how it felt for him, when I drowned. **_  
"Never do this to me, I will never do that again" Her voice was shaking. Dereks hand squeezed her harder.  
"it's okay, I won't" His calm voice was there. "Just breathe Mer"  
_ - - - - - -  
Lexie looked around, and she took a breath.  
"I love you mom" She hesitated but she felt Georges hands in her back and she ran, she ran through the light in the door and she smiled.

Mer sat down, and the door was open. The nurses, doctors and everyone that had been around was leaving. It had passed 30 seconds since they had given up, and all sudden out of nothing there was a beat, and another one, and another one..  
"Heartbeat is coming back" The nurse yelled out in the hall.  
A doctor ran in, and he looked all over her. "She's still in coma though; we'll give her a moment to recover. Everyone leave!"

* * *

**So, a shocker right? Next chapter, we'll have to see about that.. it's going to be fun i hope :)  
rewives are love**


	10. Chapter 10 Sweet Dreams

**A/N: okay , so i know i said there'd be a triangle for A LONG TIME, but it is mostly trigged up now, it's gonna be more.. just having a little block and there's a lot happening.  
Gonna start write on chap 11 tomorrow, hope i get it up atleast before next wednesday!**

* * *

Lexie had dreamt the same thing for a long time, or she knew it was one dream. There were voices everywhere, she knew them but she couldn't figure out where they came from. It was always dark, and she only heard them. They talked about heartbeats, fluid, pain.. Like she were in a hospital. She suddenly felt a strange feeling in her throat, there was something there.  
Lexie choked as she tried to breathe on her own, there was a tube in her mouth and she didn't understand why, she fluttered with her eyes a few times before she saw a shadow, Mer.  
"She's waking up… She's breathing over…" Mers voice was shaking as she called for Bailey.  
"M.. Ma….. " Lexie groaned as the tube left her throat.  
"Mark? You want me to page Mark?" Mer saw Lexie's slow nod.  
"Wh… M.. Pa.. Mar.. N… Al" Lexie struggled to make any sense, her voice broke and she tried to make her understood.  
Mer shook her head. "Don't talk Lex, We'll talk tomorrow, okay?"  
Lex closed her eyes, and she fell back to sleep. Mer looked at her watch; Lexie had been out for almost a week since she had crashed, and died and came back to life, or coma. Now she was awake, and Mer didn't know how to handle it. She walked out from the room, and sat down on the bench.  
Around the corner Derek arrived, he brought two salad boxes and a bottle of water and a cup of coffee.  
"Here my love.. " He smiled at Mer as he gave her the coffee and a salad.  
"oh, thanks.. " She lit up a little when she smelled the coffee. "You know she just woke up"  
"Lexie?"  
"Yeah, she asked for Mark but I don't know.. I mean Alex is her boyfriend right?"  
"Did you page either?" Dereks said rapidly.  
"No, I couldn't do that. To none of them" Mer blushed.  
Derek shook his head and kissed her on the cheek.  
"You're cute and funny"  
"You are cute and funny, but yeah.." Mer giggled.

Mark sat in the on-call room, he sighed at the watch and he laid back. His body ached and he was awfully tired. He had been awake, or half asleep in the very uncomfortable chairs in Lexies room, beside her in a week, more than a week. He sighed as he closed his eyes, and fell into a dreamless sleep. When he opened his eyes again, what felt like only 10 minutes later he saw Mer bent over him.  
"She's awake and asking for you" She scoffed at him and turned around and walked back.  
She had been thinking about it, and she hadn't paged Alex yet. He needed rest, and Lexie had asked for Mark.  
She walked around the corner when she noticed that they were moving her.  
"What? She's moving?" Her eyes widened and her voice was shaking.  
"Yeah, we need the space and she's stable for now. If there are any complications we'll move her back but we can monitor her from another room right now" The blonde nurse said calmly.  
Mer turned around to bounce into her husband's chest.  
"Derek they're moving her.. She woke up like, five hours ago and, now she's moving"  
"They can't… They can't move her until tomorrow earliest?"  
Mer shook her head. " I don't know.. You are the chief.. You tell them"  
Derek looked at the nurse. "Who told you she could move?"  
"Ehm.. " The nurse starred in the floor. "Nelson"  
"Well she's not. She's staying here for another day. If she crashes or anything, she needs to be close to here.." Derek yelled, he hadn't noticed that until he closed his mouth.  
The nurse nodded, "Sounds okay.. but then she's moving to another room at 13 pm tomorrow, if that's okay?"  
"If that's okay Chief… Please! And yeah, that sounds great" Derek smiled at the nurse.  
"I'm not chief?" She scoffed.  
"No, I am…" Derek smiled before he turned around to Mer, "Happy girl?"  
She nodded and gave him a bear hug as he kissed the top of her head.  
"You found Mark?" He smiled at her.  
"Yeah, I think he's coming soon. He was sleeping, it looked a lot better than those chairs he's been sleeping in for the past week" She giggled.  
Derek looked at her. "You want to go home for a few hours? We've been here the past three days and I want to sleep an hour in my bed, beside my very beautiful wife"  
She nodded, and suddenly she felt how tired she was, how much her body was aching and how much she wanted to sleep in her comfortable bed. She looked at Derek and smiled, "I do, I do"  
She walked by him out to the SUV and Derek drove home. He shook her as he parked on the driveway, "We're home sleeping beauty". Mer slowly opened her eyes and stepped out of the car, and tripped inside the house and down on her bed and fell asleep again. Derek lay down beside er and cuddled up close, inhaling her smell as he slowly fell asleep to.

Mark looked at Lexie as she laid in the bed, "Hey Lex" he said dryly.  
"Mark, I'm so.. " She was interrupted by Alex walking in. "Sorry" She said.  
"Hey lovely" Alex smiled at her. Lexies brain started to overwork_. Alex, love, Mark, love.._  
She had no idea of how to handle the situation she was in now and she wasn't in the best shape either.  
"Hey Mark and Alex.. " She murmured. "I don't know.. what to say.. "  
"Don't say anything" Mark smiled at her, "You need to think, make a choice…"  
Alex nodded, "You do, you really do! But you should know I love you Lex"  
"I love you to Lexie, I really do.. I want to start a family with you" Mark smiled.  
Alex looked at Mark, his eyeballs looked like they we're going to pop out of the scull and he was furious inside. He breathed heavily before he smiled at Lexie.  
"It's your choice, but I don't let strangers in and I don't have any kids that can burst in" He scoffed.  
"Sloan really loves you Lexie, she hated that we broke up…" Mark glared and kicked back at Alex.  
"You both, out.. Please.. I don't want to choose okay? I don't want a fucking triangle drama… Go, just LEAVE NOW." Lexie raised her voice and all the nurses looked nervously around at eachother when Mark and Alex walked out.  
Mark scoffed and turned to Alex  
"Let the fight begin" and he turned to the right and walked away, while Alex took off to the right and walked to the cafeteria.

* * *

**A/N: told ya it was trigging up, well Reviews are love as you know.  
Next chapter will be interesting i think! **


	11. Chapter 11 Sink or Swim

**AN: okay i know this chapter is way shorter but, it felt soo good this short.. So deal with it..  
oh and yeah, i forgot the disclaimer in the beginning.. but yeah, im not shonda rhimes.. SO.. i do not own anyone.. (exept future new people, and a few unnamed nurses and so)  
**

* * *

Mark looked at Alex, he could see the pain in his eyes, how his body ached and the feelings streaming through his mind.  
"Why don't you go home sleep Karev?" He glanced at him.  
"Why don't You go home?" Alex cut back and frowned at him.  
"Lexie wanted me first you know, and you love Izzie.. we all know that.. "_smartypants_ Mark thought.  
"Yeah, so? Now she wants me.. "  
"No she wants me, we both know that.. "  
Alex looked down on his brick, he wasn't even hungry. He looked at the salad he had and he picked in it with his fork.  
Alex scoffed and stood up, "I'm heading home then" He blurted without any intensions to go there. He walked around the corner and took the stairs around til he came back to Lexies room.  
"Hey beauty" He smiled at her as she turned to him.  
"Alex…." He noticed the disappointment in her voice..  
"You choose Mark right?" He sighed and sat down in the chair.  
"I don't know.. No I don't.. I choose neither" She choked in a sob.  
"Yeah, you want Mark.." Alex rolled his eyes  
"No, I said to him I wanted you…" She laid on her side.. "but I don't know"  
"You do, Lexie.. I don't care.. We all know I love Izzie, and you.. The sex is awesome but, I'm not looking for a relationship now, and you want to have all that!"  
She sighed to herself and wiped away a few tears. _I do, I want that.. crap.. _Her mind spun around as she turned to Alex.  
"I'm so sorry.. I really am" She sobbed and leaned over and kissed him one last time.  
Alex kissed her softly; "I'll ask them to page Mark" He smiled at her.  
"Yeah, thanks Alex" She smiled

"Can you page Sloan?" Alex looked at the brown haired nurse.  
"I'm not a nurse… " The girl turned around and Alex noticed Aprils smile.  
"Oh sorry Kepner.. You look hot" He smiled  
"So, do you Alex" April mumbled.  
"Well I have to find a nurse, want to find an on-call room after that?" Alex knew he couldn't do anything hard but he could sure have a little bit sex.  
"But you're hurt, you're hurting from your GSW" April stammered.  
"So?" He smiled at her..  
"We can, get to know eachother, like.. talk.. I don't want a relation but, I do want sex.. But I can't hurt you." She smiled.  
"Sounds fine" Alex reminded himself, _better than Lexie._  
They walked together around the corner and Alex poked a nurse on her back.  
"Can you page Mark Sloan to Lexie Grey?" He asked quickly.  
"Yes of course" The reply was simple and they walked away and sat down in the cafeteria.

Mark looked down at his pager when it beeped. He shrugged before he stood up and walked out from the cafeteria, he took a cup of coffee with him as he walked away. He ran up the stairs and stopped on the top to catch his breath. He had no condition to run the stairs. He took a deep breath as he walked over the catwalk and around to Lexies room. He stopped outside the door, watching her laying in her bed, and he smiled for himself. He knocked on the window and he saw her turn her head against him. She smiled a shy smile and nodded.  
"Hey, you tired?" Mark asked quickly and pulled a hand through his hair.  
"Yeah, a little bit" Lexie yawned.  
"You should sleep, get better and so"  
"No, I need to talk to you…"  
"We can talk later, you need to get better, then we can talk" Mark said firmly  
"no, I can't sleep… Not until you know" She whispered  
"well, I'm waiting.."

Lexie looked at him and sighed, her head was spinning and she didn't know how to say what she wanted to say. She noticed Mark sat down on the chair beside her, and she took his hand and squeezed it softly.

Mark sat on the chair beside the bed, Lexie hadn't said anything since he told her he was waiting for what she had to say, which was about 20 minutes ago. He looked at her as she turned around in the bed, for the fourth time she faced him but this time she opened her mouth.  
"Mark, I do want to marry you" Lexie finally said

* * *

**so atleast she decided, right?**

Next chapter is gonna focus on Mer/Der and Lexie/Mark..

We'll make a sihort timejump in the middle of it i think.. we'll se.. im gonna start it now, hha!  



	12. Chapter 12 Little pieces

**A/N: So what's Mark gonna do when lexie said that? And what's happening with Alex? And Mer?**

**And yeah, i'll say this now. Im gonna update on both my fics, but it's gonna be kind of irregular since i write when i get ideas. And i don't always ahve those. i ahd a writers block for a while on this one now, and we'll see. i'll try to update often. But school starts soon to, and it's hard to make everything fit in the short time of the day. **

* * *

_"Mark, I do want to marry you" Lexie finally said_

Mark starred at Lexie..  
"You do?" His face lit up  
"Yeah I do.. " She whispered.. "I've always wanted to do that"  
Marks eyes sparkled as he kissed Lexie, hard, romantically and in seven billion different ways in one kiss.  
"You should sleep Lexie, we need to get back as a couple before we get engaged and so.. And I want to make a real proposal, if you can wait?" Mark smiled at her.  
Lexie yawned at Mark, "That's true.. I want a real proposal" She giggled.  
Mark kissed her forehead and whispered "Sleep now" He sat down as she saw Lexies eyes flutter as she slowly fell asleep. Mark held her hand tight and felt her grip loosen quickly.  
He tricked his hand out and walked out to the waiting area and noticed Meredith sleeping cuddled up to Dereks chest and Derek softly caressing her hair and her back.  
"Lexies sleeping, take your very sleepy wife home man" Mark said quickly as he sat down.  
"You should go home for a while to.. " Derek blinked "I'll drive.."  
Mark shrugged and rose as Derek easily took Mer in his arms, he winched a bit feeling his scar burn and Mark shook his head and sighed.  
"I can carry her, if you want to?" Mark offered.  
Derek shook his head and took a deep breath.  
"She's light as a feather… And she hasn't exactly got heavier since two months ago" Mark heard the concern in his voice.  
"Well, home and sleep and make her eat" He blinked and they walked down and out to the car.

Meredith opened her eyes slowly, she recognized the room she was in, Her own bedroom.  
"What the…" She began as she noticed Derek sitting outside on the porch.  
Derek turned around just as she sat up, he watched her body and what now was her even smaller waist and her tiny thighs and sighed as he opened the door.  
"Mer.. It's only 9pm and Lexie is still sleeping, I talked to Mark 5 minutes ago!" He smiled at her.  
"How long have I've been sleeping?" Mer yawned and looked into Dereks eyes.  
"Six, seven hours maybe.. You need more, and you need to eat to" Derek gave her a strict look.  
"Not hungry, but thanks"  
"Mer, you have to.. You're disappearing in front of my eyes" Derek looked at her and took a deep breath.  
"Can we just sit outside first?" She smiled at him and reached out her hand to him.  
Derek took it and walked out on the porch and pulled Mer into a tight hug.  
"I Love You, you can't wither away from me.. You're so tiny Mer…" He whispered and his eyes filled with tears.  
"I won't Derek, I promise" She whispered and she sat down in the hammock cuddling up close to Derek. She took a deep breath with her nose, inhaling Dereks soft scent as she started to cry. She cried for her baby that she'd lost, for Lexie and for the moment she thought she had lost Derek. She cried for everything she held inside her chest for the past two months.  
Derek looked at her and softly caressed her back.  
"Mer, talk to me!"  
"I just, I almost lost you… It keeps coming back to me; I can't deal with that… Derek I love you so much." She whispered as she cuddled closer to his chest. He easily lifted her up in his lap, and kissed the top of her head.  
"You're not getting rid of me that easy you know"  
She looked up at him and kissed him softly.  
"I love you Derek, I really, really do"  
"I love you to Mer, so much"  
Derek looked down at her, and opened his mouth.  
"Mer…" He began and his voice was fussy and he stumbled on his words.  
"Did you really mean that you said when I laid there and you said if you die, I die?"  
Mer put her hands to her face and took a deep breath.  
"Yes.. I did.. I realized when you laid there, I can't live without you. I never thought that if you died, I'd die.. Maybe not die, Die but die inside, my soul would die. I wouldn't have a life, I'd be a zombie"  
Mer mumbled as she pulled closer to Dereks chest, feeling his heart beat under his skin.  
"Oh, Mer.. I would never leave you. You are the love of my life. I can't live nor die without you"  
"You are the love of my life to, I never thought I'd fall in love, get married, have kids" She rambled without thinking.  
"Have kids? Like have kids now, like we're having kids" Derek mumbled in confusion as he squinted down at her.  
"yeah.. or I didn't mean like now, Now. I meant sometime, like I want to have your kids, with my crappy DNA and your perfect hair and your awesome blue eyes and my nose cause yours is ugly, no offense, and like chatty cute kids that is running around in the backyard of our dreamhouse out in the woods that your mom would be so proud of" Mer twaddled until she had to catch air.  
"Mer, BREATHE" Derek smiled. "It can't be good for you to talk for so long much without breathing."  
She scoffed at him as she felt his hand on her lower back, softly caressing it and moving to her hip, she relaxed and before she knew it she had fallen asleep, cuddled up close in Dereks lap in their hammock.

** Life never goes as we expect does it?**

Alex walked through the doors to the hospital at 7am, he'd been with April for one day but he already felt the looks in his back. He walked side by side with April, and when they got to the nurses' station he gave her a kiss on her cheek.  
"hey, I only have one check up, want grab lunch?"  
"yeah, I have my counseling, you know I'm still not sure about this" April looked at Alex,  
"April, calm down it wasn't your fault and you've been on vacation for over a month and.. wait sure about us or the work?"  
April gave Alex a look that made him stop talking,  
"work.. yeah, but I nearly killed the chief, THE CHIEF Alex! But lunch later.. fine" she said, and walked away from it, heading to the elevators.  
Mer glanced at them from the other side of the desk closely sending them a few comments but always changed her mind in the last minute.

Alex followed her,  
"hey, it wasn't your fault. You couldn't know it was that guy." He gave her a hug and kissed her neck. April turned around,  
"no, but I still made the chief get shot. Alex I only blame myself." Alex gave her a warning glance and jumped up the stairs.  
"see you later, wait for me at lunch" He looked after April when she walked away, but he didn't have that feeling, that he had with Iz. He sighed and heard his phone rang, he picked it up and saw the number.  
"Iz?" he answered shocked.

* * *

**Why does Iz call Alex? She divorced him as we all remember, (that was NOT a happy moment...)  
It was close for Mer there to, right?**

**R&R , :)**

Mer glanced at them from the other side of the desk but she understood there was not worth to giev a comment on this one. Mer glanced at them from the other side of the desk but she understood there was not worth to giev a comment on this one.


	13. Chapter 13 Young folks

**A/N: So yeah, i ahve a hard time right now. there's been a few things messing up my life. gonna update this and then we'll see! I'm just not .. in the mood for writing atm!

* * *

  
**  
"Iz, what?" Alex was in shock. He was standing outside the elevators.  
Meredith walked up behind him as she came out from the elevator, she slapped his shoulder and he jumped up in shock.  
"Stop it" He whispered to Mer.. as he listened to Iz.  
"You're PREGNANT? WHAT THE HELL IZ?" He suddenly screamed right out in the hospital.  
Mers eyes widened as Alex hung up.  
"You're having a kid?" She smirked  
"No, I'm having TWO kids. Twins, a boy and a girl.. Emily and Philip" Alex sighed.. "And they got to live with me cause Iz can't handle them.. They're only like a month old" His voice dropped and he sighed.  
Mer starred at him.  
"Are you kidding me? You get two kids with your ex-wife and I..." She cut off as she noticed Derek walking towards them with a cup of coffee and her purse in the other hand.  
"I thought you needed this.." He smiled and reached her the purse.  
"What.. You're not back to work yet? They're still clearing us all for surgery and stuff aren't they? And there are no incoming traumas yet, even though it's been, almost two months"  
Derek looked at her.  
"Two months, only? I got to run.. When are you done?" He mumbled quickly.  
"I've got counseling until 1 pm and then I just have to help Alex with a thing, so like.. 3?" Mer shrugged and looked at Derek as he nodded and hurried away. She looked at Alex and they both started to laugh.  
"That was, odd" Alex coughed and tried to act like he didn't understand.  
_Hope I bump into Mark, dude.. He needs help with that wedding. _Alex thought for himself.  
"Mer, I call you later about Iz and the kids and that. Okay?" He gave her a shy grin in compassion.  
"Yeah, and we need to discuss.. April Kepner.. Dude" Mer laughed at him before she headed of to the elevators.  
She entered the office of the therapist Andrew Perkins and looked at him as she sat down.  
"Hey, I'm here… " She sighed loudly.  
"Hey, you don't want to do this anymore right?" He blinked at her.  
"Nah, I'm fine..." She smiled at him, he was a nice guy. He understood her and she knew it.  
"Yeah, well.. Let's see. We have been working on, Derek on the catwalk. On there, have you crossed the Catwalk since then?" He tilted his head and made a face looking like a begging puppy that made Mer burst out in a laughter.  
"Yes, or, I haven't crossed it, but I did walk out on it the other day" She assured him. "Cristina was there with me"  
"Good, that's progress.. Though you know you need to pass that catwalk Meredith" He looked into her eyes and noticed her backing down with her look.  
"I'll do it with Derek, he's the one that can make me to do it" She shuddered.  
"Yeah, that's good, set a goal. Then, we're going to take the OR. After you offered your life for Dereks. Does he know that you did that is the first thing?"  
"Yeah, we talked about it another day, at home" She whispered.

_She sat in the sofa, Derek was in the kitchen getting them each a cup of coffee.  
"Here sweetheart" He smiled.. "You look like you need some sleep, do you sleep at night?"  
"Barely, I keep having nightmares, about Gary Clark" She whispered as she closed her eyes.  
"Tell me what happened, in the O.R until Owen got shot. Please Mer?"  
She looked at him, how could she out hold the details now, but then she smiled.  
"I sat in the scrub room, with April. Owen walked in and he never scrubbed in so suddenly I realized there was something wrong. I walked in to the OR and when I enter the doors I saw Gary, holding a gun to Cristinas head, and she keeps operating. That was terrifying for her, for me, for Owen, for Jackson and Bokey. Well I told him to shoot me, since… he wanted an Eye for an eye." She looked at Derek again who gasped and starred at her.  
"Then he pointed his gun at me, and… Cristina said he couldn't shoot me and Owen jumped at him and he shot him in the shoulder. And Jackson unplugged you.." She whispered the last thing.  
_  
Dr. Perkins looked at her as she wiped away the tears now streaming down her face.  
"Well, that's progress.. Then I need you to tell me what happened there to.. We can go as far as until Owen got shot."  
Mer gave him a shocked gaze and opened her mouth. She choked before she wet her lips and took a deep breath.  
"I sat in the scrub room, with April. Owen walked in and he never scrubbed in so suddenly I realized there was something wrong. I walked in to the OR and when I enter the doors I saw Gary, holding a gun to Cristinas head, and she keeps operating. That was terrifying for her, for me, for Owen, for Jackson and Bokey. Well I told him to shoot me, since… he wanted an Eye for an eye and he pointed his gun at me, when Cris said I was pregnant and he couldn't shoot me and then Owen jumped against him and he shot him"  
She looked at him, a cold iced look before she nodded.  
"Great Mer, how.. have you walked into an OR yet? Have you looked up yourself after this?"  
"Yeah, I was in the OR yesterday, we made an appendectomy and I did. I did like a few weeks ago."  
She breathed out and pulled her hand through her hair.  
"Well, then.. You make progress.. How do you feel about everything now?"  
"You mean the fact that I lost my baby, I haven't told my husband about that and I can't do anything cause everyone in this stupid hospital gets a kid now? Did you know, my friend Izzie, she had cancer.. they took out her healthy eggs and now she was pregnant with twins, and my friend Alex is going to have to take care of them. And the fact that I'm supposed to get married, in a big white dress, in a church but my husband doesn't talk about it, so I don't think we ever will. The fact that I want a kid so badly, but I'm too scared to mention it to Derek, and even more scared about mention the miscarriage. Yeah.. I feel great" Mer snapped, and rolled her eyes. "Sorry, it's a little too much and my mom, my dead mom, is probably proud of me and I need her to tell me. And I want Dereks mom back, cause she's so nice. And his sisters knows I lost our baby, but we all agreed on not telling him, cause yeah.. He was injured"

_"Mer , you look.. bad.. Sorry" Kathleen dragged her out of Dereks room with the other three sisters following.  
"I'm fine, okay?" She sighed and shook her head at them.  
"No, you use the word fine so much, it makes no sense." Nancy scoffed at her "Speak up woman"  
Amelia and Julie had just starred at her as she itched the back of her arm and sighed.  
"We… I.. I was pregnant" She mumbled quietly.  
"But that's great sis" Kathleen had smiled at her.  
"WAS" Mer marked out to her before she felt eight eyes widened and four loud gasps.  
"Oh my.. " Amelia said before she hugged Mer tight. "I'm so sorry Mer… I really am"  
"Does..:" Julie asked quietly.  
"No, he doesn't.. He's not in the best shape now"  
"You're right." Kathleen and Nancy agreed.  
"And I'm happy if we don't talk about it, it's kind of hard to deal with you know.. " Mer wiped her eyes quickly.  
All four sisters smiled at her..  
"Sure" They whispered before they pulled her into a big hug. _

Mer smiled at Andrew Perkins.  
"Well Meredith, you made good progress.. We'll meet again in, three days?"  
She nodded at him. "Sounds perfect" Andrew was something else than , he understood, he cared and he wanted to help her.. She sighed when she opened the door, it was 1.30 and she didn't really want to go home, Derek always wanted to know what they talked about and it was hard to keep out the details about everything. She sighed as she walked into Alex.  
"You okay Mer?" He looked furious but he sounded  
"yeah, just trying to figure out how to avoid Derek, I don't want to.. talk" she whispered.  
"Well, let's head to.." Alex trailed of as his pager went off.  
"You don't work?" Mer eyed him.  
"Nah, it's Izzie.. I think it's about the kids… " He agonized for the call.  
Mer rolled her eyes and nodded quick before she went down, the lobby was empty and she looked up at the catwalk.  
"Tomorrow maybe" She whispered to herself before she walked out through the doors and headed back to her home.

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**R&R right?**

So, just for preparation for next chapter there's gonna be a timejump,. i have a specfic time i want to get to soon, so we'll make a time jump.. i just don't know how long cause i'll got to count that out, haha!

**happy reading  
**


	14. Chapter 14 Turn the lights off

**AN: Sorry for the long time, writersblock.. it happends.. and i still have it.. This chapter took me three weeks or something..  
Dont expect miracels okay?  
**

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_"Tomorrow maybe" Mer whispered to herself_  
It had been ten weeks since she said that, she smiled at the memory from the day after, when she had taken Derek over the catwalk to his office, he had been very secretive to her while they had been sitting in his office.  
_"Mer, I'm stepping down" He blurted without really thinking.  
"What?" Her reaction was direct, her head shot up and she smiled.  
"Yeah, I don't like this.. I want to be home with you in a decent time.. I'm stepping down next week and, then we're going to be happy.. right?" He looked puzzled.  
"I love you Derek"_

She smiled as she thought of him, but all of a sudden her phone rang.  
"Derek?" She pouted with her lip as she answered.  
_"My mom is coming… TODAY! She's staying for well atleast 2 months.. " _  
"Eh, she's not staying for like a week? She's staying for months?"  
_"Yeah…." Derek bit together not to ramble.  
_"Ehm, Der.. Why?"  
_"I don't know" He mumbled glad she didn't see him now.  
_"Fine.. " Mer mumbled. "Just take me home, soon"

Derek drove slowly, driving the highway to the hospital down from the trailer and the land.  
He sighed as he realized the ground had been broken but nothing else had been done, he knew they had to start soon. He smiled at the thought of telling Mer the great news, knowing she wanted to move into the house just as much as he did. Not having the roommates and everything would make their lives so much easier. He pulled up his cellphone as he drove and speed dialed the number to the constructors.  
"Hello, this is Derek Shepherd. I need you to start the construction of my house that you have the plans for…"  
He smiled at the constructor in on the other line.  
"Thank You, I'll see you tomorrow" He finished and hung up just as he parked the car.  
He quickly walked inside the doors and smiled as he saw Mer in the waiting area and hugged her shoulders from her back and kissed her cheek.  
"We're building our house" He whispered into her ear and she jumped around and just stared at him.  
"What?" She exclaimed in a squeal. "Like, really doing it, building walls and have rooms?"  
Her excitement made Derek burst into laughter as he kissed her forehead.  
"Yes Dear" He nodded with a smile.  
"Corny" She pouted at him.  
"Well, a house without your roommates would be perfect, right?" He glanced at her.  
"Eh, duh.. Yeah" She scoffed slightly.  
Derek shook his head slightly as he grabbed her hand and lead her out to the car.  
As he turned the key and the car made a ordinary roar as it started Mer giggled.  
"We need a new car"  
Derek looked at her and smiled.. "True, want to go look for one now?"  
She shook her head.. "I want to go home.." She whispered as she turned the radio up and sang.  
_"They're saying "Mamma never loved her much"  
And,"Daddy never keeps in touch  
That's why she shies away from human affection"  
But somewhere in a private place"_  
Derek looked at her as he pulled u at the driveway to the house. His blue eyes piercing her green and they fell into a deep kiss before they stepped out of the car.  
Derek held her up with an arm around her stomach as they walked inside the house.  
"Go to bed, I'm coming in a minute.. DON'T sleep!" He blinked quickly as he let Mer go up before he went to the kitchen.  
He made a big amount of pancakes, he poured juice in two glasses and brought out strawberries from the fridge and put it all on a tray.  
He slowly walked the stairs and opened the door into their room and smiled at mer who sat on the bed.  
"What's the occasion?" Her face lit up slightly as she saw the tray.  
"No occasion.." Derek smiled as he opened his bag and pulled out a small package.  
"Ehm, okay?" Mer giggled.  
"Yeah, just want to take care of my amazing wonderful wife"  
"And…?"  
"My mom arrives tomorrow" Derek mumbled  
"yeah.. But I've missed her.." Mer Smiled at Derek as she grabbed the packet. "What's this?"  
"Open it" Derek shrugged  
Mer slowly opened the cover, and out fell a black box, she looked at Derek in confusion.  
"You don't need to buy me gifts.. I love you anyway" She told him.  
"I wanted to" He smiled slightly "And I Love you too"  
Mer opened the box quickly to notice two tickets to Australia.  
"Australia?" She gasped "In, 2 months? You've planned this with my vacation, ohhhh, Derek!" She jumped up and kissed him before she noticed something in the box. She looked at him as she grabbed it and opened it fully and grabbed a golden chain with a heart charm containing a diamond.  
"Derek" She squealed as the tears started to build up in her eyes.  
"You like it?" He smiled..  
"DEREK… I….. I… I Love it!" She stammered as she wiped away a tear from her face.  
" Well, good! And I can't wait till Australia." He smiled as he sat down.  
"Now eat…" He mumbled quickly as he kissed Mers forehead.  
Mer grabbed a bunch of pancakes and strawberries, eating them one by one and groaning of the taste.  
"Sounds great" Derek giggled as Mer bit of half a strawberry and put to his mouth, slowly licking his lower lip to the taste of the fruit.  
Derek slowly pulled her into a kiss, sucking her lower lip before they went back to eat.  
"When is she here" Mer asked hesitantly.  
"Ma?" Derek looked at her, and placed a finger on her forehead. "you're warm Mer.." He mumbled worriedly.  
"Yeah? Ah, maybe I am.. "  
"She's here, I think she landed at 12 or 1 pm." He smiled.. "Eat and I'll tuck you in" He smiled at her as she slowly ate her pancakes. When she was finished Derek put everything on the tray, lifting it to the side as he grabbed her favorite sweater, the old Dartmouth and a pair of comfy pants.  
He helped her change before he helped her lay down in bed and quickly tucked her in, before he lay down besides her looking into her blanch eyes and kissing her nose.  
"You're cute when you're sick" He whispered to her..  
"yeah.. I feel tired, headache, warm, nauseas.. Maybe I have the flu.." She mumbled as she turned to him. He pulled her into his chest as they lay tight in bed and slowly caressed her back and kissed her forehead.  
"I Love You.." He said with a smile making Mer look at him and smile.  
"I Love You too" She smiled.  
He caressed her back in small circles helping her to fall asleep, sleeping the fever away and they both fell asleep in eachothers calm and their safe places.

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**Yeah, it seems.. nice! Reviews are love!**

I havnt decided for next chapter, but i'll assume a timejump.. Since i have a limit for my big plan in chapter 19 or 20 to be, and this is 14..

Well a short timejump maybe.. Well see okay?

Reviews make my day!


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